NLP Advanced Language Patterns Mastery Day 46: Sleight of Mouth: Criteria Utilization

Today, when someone states a limiting belief, ask for permission and use the following, rather involved, Sleight of Mouth pattern and notice if their experience of the limiting belief shifts. Be sure to maintain rapport as you deliver the pattern.

Sleight of Mouth: Criteria Utilization – Today, when someone states a limiting belief, ask for permission and use the following, rather involved, Sleight of Mouth pattern and notice if their experience of the limiting belief shifts. Be sure to maintain rapport as you deliver the pattern.

This integrates several Sleight of Mouth patterns.

  1. A states: “I want to do X, but something stops me.”
  2. B elicits the relevant criteria for both doing and not doing, and makes two lists.
    1. “What’s important or valuable about doing X?”
      “What makes you want to do X?”
      Listen for criteria.
    2. Put the person in the context(s) where he could do X but doesn’t, and listen for criteria.
      “What’s important or valuable about not doing X?”
      “What stops you from doing X?”
  3. B elicits a higher criterion that supersedes all the major criteria elicited thus far, particularly one that is more important than 2.2 above.
    “What is more important to you than X (safety, etc.)?”
    “What will get you to give up X (safety, etc.)?”
  4. B utilizes criteria to assist A in congruently doing what he wants to do, by doing one or more of the following:
    1. Redefine what he wants to do, so that it fits within the criteria that currently stop him (from step 2.2), or
    2. Make what he now does instead into counter-examples of his valued criteria (from steps 2.2 and 3) (use redefining and apply to self), or
    3. Make what he wants to do an example of the higher-valued criterion (from step 3) even if it still violates lower-valued criteria (from step 2.2) (use redefining and hierarchy of criteria).
  5. B uses verb forms to install new belief and behavior on timeline.
    Example: So you want to be firm with your child, but you are stopped by wanting to be a nice person. More important than being a nice person is learning.

    1. “Can you see how in the long run you will be a much nicer person, and more thoughtful of your child, by being firm?”
    2. “It’s really rather mean – not nice at all – to let your child get by with anything, because you’re not preparing him to be able to get along with attractive and resourceful people later in life.”
    3. “So which is more important, being a nice person in a limited sort of way, or laying the foundation for your son to learn how to get along in life?”